10 Tips To Have a Long Lasting Relationship

Here are 10 Tips for Having a Long Lasting Success in Relationships

1. Celebrate the small stuff.
"It's not enough that your partner knows that you take pride in her or her accomplishments. You have to show it. Making a fuss over the small, good things that happen everyday can boost the health of your marriage."

2. Learn how to fight productively.
"The key to fighting productively is to recognize when a disagreement is going in the wrong direction and to take steps to calm things down and repair rifts."

3. Silence is not golden.
"By staying quiet and avoiding conflict when things bothered them, they had missed important opportunities to cultivate and grow their relationship."

4. Don't put negative thoughts into the universe.
"Men and women who had pondered thoughts of divorce in 1980 were nine times more likely to have gotten divorced by the end of the study."

5. Plan together.
"Couples who planned a baby's arrival or who were equally joyous at becoming parents were far more likely to maintain their marital happiness or even enjoy an increase after the baby was born."

6. Maintain a circle of friends and support.
"Strong friendships outside the marriage can take the pressure off your relationship, help you work things out away from your spouse, and ultimately protect your marriage from unnecessary stress and discord."

7. Overcompensate for mistakes.
"Do marriage math. Even when you make a mistake, tell yourself that you're going to do at least five positive things for your spouse to make up for it, and then do them. And don't wait until you bicker to turn on the charm. Nice gestures and comments go far in a marriage, they are easy to do, and they will help insulate your marriage from being damaged by the inevitable bad days."

8. Set the marriage bar high.
"Husbands and wives who hold their partners to a reasonably high standard have better marriages. If you expect a better, more satisfying relationship, you improve your chances of having one."

9. Give it a break.
"Sometimes, improving your marriage means giving it a break. Increasing your connections with family, friends and society is good for your marriage."

10. Be aware of your body language.
"Eye rolling is a painfully obvious sign of contempt, and it's a powerful predictor that your relationship is in serious trouble."

Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

10 Tips To Have a Long Lasting Relationship

Playfulness and Laughter

Suggestions for Playfulness and Laughter:

• Spend time with children


• Go to toy stores


• Play with your animals


• Go to an improvisational theater show


• Watch funny movies


• Go to a comedy store


• Rent old Candid Camera episodes


• Watch Marx Brothers movies


• Go to the beach


• Take a ski trip


• Watch I Love Lucy reruns


• Ride your bike


• Go bowling


• Rent Rollerblades


• Go to a baseball game


• Start a pillow fight


• Tell jokes


• Play board games


• Tickle someone


• Have a staring contest


• Throw a costume party


• Go to an animal-free circus


• Dance


• Have a tea party


• Go to an ice cream shop


• Bake cookies


• Blow bubbles


• Play miniature golf


• Go to the batting cages


• Watch people at shopping malls


• Go to an amusement park


• Paint with watercolors


• Rent a sailboat


• Go on a picnic


• Make up lists of fun and playful things to do


• Read My Blog : )

Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

The Blue Rose

The Blue Rose

Having four visiting family members, my wife was very busy, so I offered to go to the store for her to get some needed items, which included light bulbs, paper towels, trash bags, detergent and Clorox. So off I went.

I scurried around the store, gathered up my goodies and headed for the checkout counter, only to be blocked in the narrow aisle by a young man who appeared to be about sixteen-years-old. I wasn't in a hurry, so I patiently waited for the boy to realize that I was there. This was when he waved his hands excitedly in the air and declared in a loud voice, "Mommy, I'm over here."

It was obvious now, he was mentally challenged and also startled as he turned and saw me standing so close to him, waiting to squeeze by. His eyes widened and surprise exploded on his face as I said, "Hey Buddy, what's your name?"

"My name is Denny and I'm shopping with my mother," he responded proudly.

"Wow," I said, "that's a cool name; I wish my name was Denny, but my name is Steve."

"Steve, like Stevarino?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered. "How old are you Denny?"

"How old am I now, Mommy?" he asked his mother as she slowly came over from the next aisle.

"You're fifteen-years-old Denny; now be a good boy and let the man pass by."

I acknowledged her and continued to talk to Denny for several more minutes about summer, bicycles and school. I watched his brown eyes dance with excitement, because he was the center of someone's attention. He then abruptly turned and headed toward the toy section.

Denny's mom had a puzzled look on her face and thanked me for taking the time to talk with her son. She told me that most people wouldn't even look at him, much less talk to him.

I told her that it was my pleasure and then I said something I have no idea where it came from, other than by the prompting of the Holy Spirit. I told her that there are plenty of red, yellow, and pink roses in God's Garden; however, "Blue Roses" are very rare and should be appreciated for their beauty and distinctiveness. You see, Denny is a Blue Rose and if someone doesn't stop and smell that rose with their heart and touch that rose with their kindness, then they've missed a blessing from God.

She was silent for a second, then with a tear in her eye she asked, "Who are you?"

Without thinking I said, "Oh, I'm probably just a dandelion, but I sure love living in God's garden."

She reached out, squeezed my hand and said, "God bless you!" and then I had tears in my eyes.

May I suggest, the next time you see a BLUE ROSE, don't turn your head and walk off. Take the time to smile and say Hello. Why? Because, by the grace of GOD, this mother or father could be you. This could be your child, grandchild, niece or nephew. What a difference a moment can mean to that person or their family.

From an old dandelion!

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"People will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel!"
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Demons In The Desert

Demons In The Desert [The Correct Way Of Thinking]
Once upon a time there were two mer¬chants, who were friends. Both of them were get¬ting ready for business trips to sell their merchan¬dise, so they had to decide whether to travel together. They agreed that, since each had about 500 carts, and they were going to the same place along the same road, it would be too crowded to go at the same time.

One decided that it would be much better to go first. He thought, “The road will not be rutted by the carts, the bullocks will be able to choose the best of all the grass, we will find the best fruits and vegetables to eat, my people will appreciate my leadership and, in the end, I will be able to bargain for the best prices.”

The other merchant considered carefully and realized there were advantages to going sec¬ond. He thought, “My friend’s carts will level the ground so we won’t have to do any road work, his bullocks will eat the old rough grass and new ten¬der shoots will spring up for mine to eat. In the same way, they will pick the old fruits and vege¬tables and fresh ones will grow for us to enjoy. I won’t have to waste my time bargaining when I can take the price already set and make my profit.” So he agreed to let his friend go first. This friend was sure he’d fooled him and gotten the best of him – so he set out first on the journey.

The merchant who went first had a trouble¬some time of it. They came to a wilderness called the ‘Waterless Desert’, which the local people said was haunted by demons. When the caravan reached the middle of it, they met a large group coming from the opposite direction.

They had carts that were mud smeared and dripping with water. They had lotuses and water lilies in their hands and in the carts. The head man, who had a know-it-all attitude, said to the merchant, “Why are you carrying these heavy loads of water? In a short time you will reach that oasis on the horizon with plenty of water to drink and dates to eat. Your bullocks are tired from pulling those heavy carts filled with extra water – so throw away the water and be kind to your overworked animals!”

Even though the local people had warned them, the merchant did not realize that these were not real people, but demons in disguise. They were even in danger of being eaten by them. Be¬ing confident that they were helpful people, he followed their advice and had all his water emp¬tied onto the ground.

As they continued on their way they found no oasis or any water at all. Some realized they’d been fooled by beings that might have been de¬mons, and started to grumble and accuse the mer¬chant. At the end of the day, all the people were tired out. The bullocks were too weak from lack of water to pull their heavy carts. All the people and animals lay down in a haphazard manner and fell into a deep sleep. Lo and behold, during the night the demons came in their true frightening forms and gobbled up all the weak defenseless be¬ings. When they were done there were only bones lying scattered around – not one human or animal was left alive.

After several months, the second merchant began his journey along the same way. When he arrived at the wilderness, he assembled all his people and advised them – “This is called the ‘Waterless Desert’ and I have heard that it is haunted by demons and ghosts. Therefore we should be careful. Since there may be poison plants and foul water, don’t drink any local water without asking me.” In this way they started into the desert.

After getting about halfway through, in the same way as with the first caravan, they were met by the water soaked demons in disguise. They told them the oasis was near and they should throw away their water. But the wise merchant saw through them right away. He knew it didn’t make sense to have an oasis in a place called ‘Waterless Desert’. And besides, these people had bulging red eyes and an aggressive and pushy attitude, so he suspected they might be demons. He told them to leave them alone saying, “We are business men who don’t throw away good water before we know where the next is coming from.”
Then seeing that his own people had doubts, the merchant said to them, “Don’t believe these people, who may be demons, until we actu¬ally find water. The oasis they point to may be just an illusion or a mirage. Have you ever heard of water in this ‘Waterless Desert’? Do you feel any rain-wind or see any storm clouds?” They all said, “No”, and he continued, “If we believe these strangers and throw away our water, then later we may not have any to drink or cook with – then we will be weak and thirsty it would be easy for de-mons to come and rob us, or even eat us up! Therefore, until we really find water, do not waste even a drop!”

The caravan continued on its way and, that evening, reached the place where the first cara¬van’s people and bullocks had been killed and eaten by the demons. They found the carts and human and animal bones lying all around. They recognized that the fully loaded carts and the scat¬tered bones belonged to the former caravan. The wise merchant told certain people to stand watch around the camp during the night.
The next morning the people ate breakfast, and fed their bullocks well. They added to their goods the most valuable things left from the first caravan. So they finished their journey very suc¬cessfully, and returned home safely so that they and their families could enjoy their profits.
The moral is: One must always be wise enough not to be fooled by tricky talk and false appear¬ances.

Lovely thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You.....

The Nature of Love and Pleasure......LOVE

The Nature of Love and Pleasure

Love
There are different kinds of love, and these are variously expressed as motherly love, brotherly love, sensual love, emotional love, sexual love, selfish love, selfless love and universal love.

If people develop only their carnal or selfish love towards one other, that type of love cannot last long. In a true love relationship, one should not ask how much one can get, but how much one can give.

When beauty, complexion and youth start to fade away, a husband who considers only the physical aspects of love may think of acquiring another young one. That type of love is animal love or lust. If a man really develops love as an expression of human concern for another being, he will not lay emphasis only on the external beauty and physical attractiveness of his partner. The beauty and attractiveness of his partner should be in her heart and mind, not in what he sees. Likewise, the wife will never neglect her husband even though he has become old, poor or sick.

“I have a fear that the modern girl loves to be Juliet, to have a dozen Romeos. She loves adventure……The modern girl dresses not to protect herself from wind, rain and sun, but to attract attention. She improves upon nature by painting herself and looking extraordinary.”
— Gandhi

Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Touch of Lemon

When I met Mr. Jim Lemon, I was a sixteen-year-old freshman at Houston's Jackson Junior High and the chances of my finishing high school were slim. I was a troubled teenager with an attitude, living in a neighborhood that fostered troubled teenagers.

Mr. Lemon taught American history and it was clear from the first day that his classroom was not going to be disrupted. It was apparent, very quickly, that Mr. Lemon was quite different from the other teachers I had known. Not only was he a disciplinarian, but also he was a great teacher. He would never settle for my usual standard of classroom work. Mr. Lemon pushed and prodded and never tolerated the mediocrity that had become my standard.

On the occasion of our first semester report cards, Mr. Lemon called me aside and asked how it was possible that I was a B student in his class and a D and F student in the rest of my classes.

I was ready for that question. I passionately told him about my divorced parents, the local gangs, the drugs, the fights, and the police - all the evils that I had been subjected to. Mr. Lemon listened patiently and when I was through he responded, “There’s a problem with your list Mr. Phillips, you are not on it.”

Then Mr. Lemon explained that the only person responsible for my situation was me. And the only person with the potential to change my situation was me, and that when I personally accepted that responsibility I could make a significant change in my life.

He convinced me that I was failing not because I was a failure, but because I was not accepting the responsibility for my results in those other classes. Mr. Lemon was the first teacher I had who made me believe in myself. He inspired me to become a better student and he changed my life.

Ten years later, I spoke to him again. I was preparing to graduate from Chaminade University in Honolulu.

It had taken weeks of telephone calls to find him but I knew what I had to say. When I finally did get Mr. Lemon on the telephone, I explained what his brutal honesty had meant to me, how I finally graduated from high school, and how I was a proud staff sergeant in the Army. I explained how I had married the most beautiful and wonderful woman of my dreams and how we had a beautiful daughter.

Most of all I wanted him to know that I was about to graduate magna cum laude after going to school for four hours a night, four nights a week for three years. I wanted him to know that I could never have done any of these things if he had not been a part of my life.

Finally, I told him that I had been saving money for two years so that I could invite he and his wife to come to Hawaii at my expense to be part of my graduation. I'll never forget his response. Mr. Lemon said, "Who is this again?"

I was just one of hundreds of students whose life he changed and he seemed genuinely surprised of his impact.

Perhaps none of us realize the impact that we have on other people nor do other people have any idea how much of an impact they have on us. How much, then, should we be aware of our influence on others to make sure that it is for the best? And how much more should we tell those who have had a positive impact on our lives?


Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

A childs Angel

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born. So one day he asked God:

They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless? Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you.

But tell me, here in Heaven, I don't do anything else but sing and smile, that's enough for me to be happy. Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you everyday. And you will feel your angel's love and be happy.

And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me, if I don't know the language that men talk? Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.

And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you? Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray. I've heard that on earth there are bad men. Who will protect me? Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.

But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore. Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you.

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard, and the child in a hurry asked softly:

Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel's name Your angel's name is of no importance, you will call your angel:
Mother

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Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Mindfullness.......Budha

Mindfulness should be the most natural thing in the world-without any unnecessary strain or effort. But for us, habitually unmindful beings, being mindful might be a daunting task. The more unmindful we become, the more habitual it becomes, and attaining mindfulness soon feels near impossible. How scary! Let's all guard our minds more carefully from now on.

I was walking to the subway station in the near noon sun. I remembered my promise to myself to be as mindful as I could the whole day. The sun felt hot. I caught myself screwing up my face, frowning in its glare. This, I realise, only when I realised I was having mild dizziness. The mindfulness came this "late." Suddenly, I wasn't sure whether it was the heat of the sun that made me dizzy or that it was me feeling contempt for the sun that made me dizzy. Funny. I think the latter that is true. The sun meant no harm. It was me to be blame ultimately. I should have experienced the heat mindfully without attachment-that's all-no need to grumble about it inside.

Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Dont Save The Best For Last

I realized a couple of years ago that I often "save the best for last".

It started with little things - I'd use the crumpled facial tissue or paper towel before grabbing the crisp new one next to it, or I'd save the best bite of food on my plate until I reached the end of my meal. Something told me at the time that it was symbolic of other areas in my life where I was settling for less in hopes of a better thing "later" - always "later".

I made a mental note of it, to remember to use the "good" thing first, but I wasn't committed to the exercise and soon was back to my old ways.
Lately, I've realized that this way of doing things really is symbolic of a behavior I'd like to change.

It all started with perfume.
I had purchased a few perfume oils that I really liked a lot. Two were Indian scents - strong, floral, perfume-y, and rollerball, I just loved them. I started wearing the one I liked the least on a daily basis (why did I do that?), then when that one was finished, I used the one I liked more. I had also purchased two other oils, one which it turned out my Main Squeeze liked a lot, but I didn't like that much, so I only wore it on our outings or other special occasions.

Lastly, there was "Beautiful", a copycat of two of my favorite Estee Lauder scents "Beautiful" and "Knowing". The "Beautiful" fragrance oil was by far my favorite scent, and because it was, I chose to save it for extra special occasions.

But in recent weeks, I decided I didn't always want to be looking forward to some brighter future while suffering in a difficult present, and I connected to my continued "saving the best for last" to my challenge. I decided to use the best first.

I began with, well everything. If I pulled out a bunch of crumpled, yet clean tissues from my purse or backpack, I would still go out of my way to use the clean and folded napkins or tissues inches away. From my collection of scented body lotions and creams, I began using the pricier, more fragrant, "special" stuff.

Maya Angelou says she always eats dinner on her finest china and silverware. Now I know why. When you use the best for yourself, even when you're by yourself, you're saying "I'm worth it."

When you don't save the best for last, when you use the best first, you're creating space for even better to come into your life.

This is what I learned when I started using "Beautiful". I made it my everyday scent, and here's what happened:

First, I felt very special. I felt rich, like Oprah, wise, like Maya Angelou, and glamorous like Miss Piggy and Mae West!
Secondly, I noticed that as I used the oil, I realized I would at some point need to replace it.
And then I had the thought, "I wonder what he (the perfume shop owner) has that's even better than this and in my price range?"
After that, I thought, "Or by then I'll probably have much more money and will be able to choose from many more options in his store!"
And after that, "Or maybe by then I'll be able to afford and actual bottle of Estee Lauder's 'Beautiful'!"
And lastly, I recalled that a friend of mine had recently been window shopping at Macy's and I'd discovered another Estee fragrance I liked a lot, Azuree. My friend teased me because it was so strong and perfumey- like Indian incense, which I liked a lot, but which is totally not her style.

When I was at Macy's smelling Azuree I knew I would sometime soon have it, even though it wasn't in my budget at the time. And as long as I was using my least favorite fragrances, I wasn't really thinking much about Azuree - certainly not enough to WoManifest it into my existence and enjoyment.

By putting "Beautiful" to use - enjoying the best first, space was immediately created to be filled - in this case, space that previously had held the best.

You see, when you use up the best, you automatically make room for a new and better "best" to come into your life.

So now I exercise this new theory often.

Is there a down side? Sure, there is. I feel a sense of loss and sadness using the best first because then I no longer have anything in my immediate future to look forward to.
Whenever I'm eating now, and there's that delicious bite on my plate, and I decide I'm going to eat it first, I'm sad because I no longer have that bite to look forward to anymore. But I do it because it's a good exercise. It's a metaphor for other areas in my life where I no longer want to be longing for improvement or something better.

I invite you to partake of this experiment and experience with me.

If you have "nice" or "good" china or silverware, take it out and use it yourself, use it now. You'll find that sometime in the near future you'll want to replace them with even better china and silverware, and when you have acquired those, use them first, too, and so on. Think of Maya!

When you're eating, enjoy the finest part of the meal first. Don't wait until the end.

If you have three kinds of shampoo, one "every day" kind and one "special occasions" one, use the "special occasions" or fancy one first. See how you feel using fancy shampoo every single day, even just to go grocery shopping.

Why should you only take out the best of anything for "company" (your guests), your job/employer, or a date? Are any of those human beings worth more than you? Absolutely not. And more importantly, they probably won't care or notice that your hair is more fragrant or your skin is softer than on another day. They won't go home and shriek with delight how impressed they were at your glimmering dishware, and if they do, that says something about their personal values and priorities, which likely don't match yours, or you probably wouldn't be reading this article!

Don't let your lover be the only one who sees you in sexy underwear. Wear sexy underwear for yourself, first! Maybe no one else will know what you have on underneath, but you will, and you'll feel better for it - more confident, and more worthy because you took the time and effort to put it on for yourself - not for anyone else.

Think of Oprah Winfrey. She has the finest things, and uses them for herself. And I believe that's why she continues to WoManifest even more things and more money to have more things, because she actually uses them for herself, and not only for others. It's important to use your resources to make the world a better place, but it's no good to put yourself lower, as second class citizen. Spirit didn't make you any less worthy and the world doesn't do any better by anyone's misguided so-called sacrifice. We are All One, and that means you're worth every bit of good you want to do "for" others.

Now, you may ask about recycling and overconsumption of products. Doesn't using the best and then creating more new "bests" just overcrowd landfills and create waste? It doesn't have to, and that's a very valid concern. In fact, this is one story I would tell myself when I was resisting using the best first.

I thought it was good to use the soap til it's a speck o' nothing, while I left the fancy one in the box to be opened and displayed for, and used by, guests only.

Then I realized there were no exceptions to my "Use the Best First" exercise. I had to go through the motions until I learned all there was to know about this issue.
And what I learned is this - we can always adjust. The world will not be harmed by your giving yourself the best.

I still save soap scraps - I just use them to wash my hands on a daily basis, while I use the fancy soap in the shower. And I enjoy this - that's what counts - to do what you enjoy while using the best. You can still have your values. You can still recycle.

Someday, I plan to have a system of putting all my small pieces of used soap in a mitt-like contraption so that lots of bits of soap can be used at once. I can also, if I wish, or when I'm ready, boil it in water with a little bit of borax to make liquid soap. My schedule is too busy these days to do that, but I do think about it. And so can you make similar adjustments as you use the best first!

Enjoy the best now. Know what it feels like to create space for even more and even better in your life. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover about yourself while you consider and enjoy being worthy of the best. Why? Because your soul knows you're worth the best, and not later, but now!


Courtesy
"Don't Save the Best for Last" by Cassendre Xavier. (c) Copyright 2010 by Cassendre Xavier. All rights reserved. Visit http://cassEndrExavier.com for more information.

Lovely Messages For Lovely People Just Like You........

Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Forgive and Say Thanks ....to Yourself and to GOD.....

From stuffed turkeys to full tummies, we celebrate Thanksgiving by immersing ourselves in the moment. We enjoy ourselves by coming together and sharing our food and memories. We reflect on our country, our faith and our family. The day-long – and sometimes week-long – preparation of one meal, testifies to the significance of the day. Along with our gratitude, Thanksgiving offers us a time to express forgiveness, as well as thanks.

Good Times

When we look back over the year, or the decade, or the course of our lives, we quickly recognize our gifts and happiness. When sharing with those we love, we recall times of joy such as births and weddings and other rites of passage. And for those, we sincerely give thanks. Remembering difficult situations transforming into positive opportunities, we take particular joy in celebrating the gifts of Spirit for bringing in the highest and best for our life. That’s the easy part.

Challenges

Often, we require life’s harshest lessons to learn and grow. Gentle teachers guide and direct us, but the difficult headmaster provides the most opportunity for progress. Immersed in a challenge, we experience a variety of emotions ranging from anger, to fear, frustration and anxiety. Then, when we triumphantly emerge from the struggle, like a mother giving birth, we forget the pain and rejoice in the joy of the outcome. And sometimes, we hold grudges against the very things that we strived to overcome, which taught us the most. The joy of forgiveness goes hand in hand with gratitude.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness definitions vary from a simple letting go, to a more complex cautious dismissal. We accept apologies when offered, and interpret this as forgiveness. By that interpretation, we can never forgive someone who fails to apologize. Another conundrum appears if the object of our forgiveness isn’t a person (its a circumstance or situation), or the person is no longer living. We then claim to suffer from the malaise of “not having closure.” Since most of us don’t really know what forgiveness is, we conveniently make excuses to not forgive at all, simply because we don’t know what it looks like in our world. We create our destiny of carrying around resentment and anger the remainder of our lives.

Who benefits?

The starkest contrast between forgiveness and gratitude, not surprisingly, resides within us. In gratitude, we experience peace of mind, a sense of honor and satisfaction, wrapped in the recognition of Spirit’s blessing in our lives. Not only do we lovingly embrace the things for which we are thankful, those around us absorb our positive energy and grow inspired to consider their own reasons for gratitude. In short, an “attitude of gratitude” affects more than one person.

In holding grudges, anger, or resentment, we mostly affect ourselves. Many times the subject of our disdain continues on his or her course blissfully unaware of our feelings, or worse, appears apathetic. In such cases, we hold the negativity all to ourselves. We alone experience all the anxiety and physical ill-being brought about by our feelings. Alternatively, the person we need to forgive the most awaits our forgiveness. He or she harbors feelings of inadequacy or sorrow that we cannot seem to release and let them go. Now, you affect that person, too, and cause untold hardship on his or her well-being. In short, nobody benefits from unforgiveness.

Letting go / Surrender

The true but overused phrase, “Let Go, Let God,” serves us well. Releasing anger, fear, resentment not only frees you, but other, too. By doing so, we acknowledge our inability to control the situation, and give up the struggle. That’s all it is, really, just struggle for control. And the negativity takes its toll on you, in fact, its killing you. So, if you give up trying to control everything around you, even the people in your life, the struggle falls away along with it. Everyone is free to explore the doors of opportunity for gratitude in all areas of life.

Today, give thanks for life’s harshest lessons for bringing you to the present moment. Thank people whom you feel wronged you in any way, for they are Spirit’s special messengers for self-reflection. Put what happened to you in the past and leave it where it belongs. Appreciate all that you’ve overcome which enriched you, educated you and strengthened you. Rejoice in your new well-being, and the Universe will support you in amazing ways.

And most of all, thank God for your incredible capacity to love.



Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Story of Faith ..A Story of Krishna

There was a king named Jayamal. Jayamal had intense faith in Lord Krishna. He never missed a single day spending in devotion and rituals performed through love towards his deity Shyamsundar (Black beauty). He worshiped Lord Krishna as Shyamsunder.

Although a king, with many duties towards the kingdom and the people of his kingdom. His faith was great. He spent the time in devotion and worship from early morning till midday. He would not leave the sacred shrine, where he spent the time in devotion, even if it meant losing his kingdom and all the wealth.

There are always people taking the devotion towards God as a weakness. So knowing that the king spends half the earlier day in devotion, a neighboring king decided to attack his kingdom in the early hours of the day and capture it the easy way. It was an easy meal for him. Thus, one early morning, an attack was made on king Jayamal's kingdom. All with the bright hopes of acquiring a new kingdom.

The soldier's of Jayamal had no other option but to watch the enemy soldiers surround the kingdom with ease. They could not fight without their king's order.

The news of the arrival of the enemy troops reached the mother of King Jayamal. She rushed to the king and asked him to take immediate steps. To go and fight the battle. Jayamal the devotee was unperturbed. Bursting with faith he said , "Why should I worry if Shyamsunder decided to take back the kingdom He gave me?". "On the other hand if He does not want the kingdom to be loosed, nothing on the earth can take it away."

Outside the temple, Shyamsunder took the horse of the king from the stable. Riding the horse and fully armed, He single handed attacked the enemy troops. There was no way the enemies could compete the blue warrior. Except the leader all were reduced to corpses. Shyamsunder after doing what had to be done, rode back to the temple where the king used to pray, tied the horse to the tree and vanished.

The king after the worship came out. He was a little down on leaving the temple, he thought Shyamsunder must have decided that he should no longer hold the kingdom. He sees his horse panting with heavy breath, tied under the tree, right outside the temple. "Who has been riding my horse and brought it here?" he demanded. "How can anybody even think of sitting on my cherished horse leave aside riding him?"

None of the officers of the king had the answer. They were all unaware of what had happened. Nevertheless the king in the pensive mood rode his horse and galloped along with the little army towards the battle field. There was no time for any investigation.

On reaching the battlefield he saw the entire enemy troop, but the leader, dead.The leader, the sole survivor, felt at his feet. He said, "I am so sorry to attack you, sir." "You have a warrior no one on earth can defeat." "Please tell me a little more about your blue warrior, your friend." "He has cast a spell on my heart and soul."

The king realized that it was Shyamsunder who rode his horse and cleared the enemies army. The enemy king realized it too and worshiped and begged Jaymal for acquiring the grace of his God. The attraction of wealth and kingdom was no more in his system. With Jayamals blessings he too received the grace of Shyamsunder, the chitchor, the divine Krishna.
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Karma and Spirituality

Two friends were on the way. As they were moving across the nasty place filled with prostitutes, one of them had a desire to spend a night indulging himself in physical pleasure. The other one was given this idea to which he denied, and told his friend not do so.

They both parted, one going with a prostitute, the other with anger and resentment in his mind, decided to visit a temple and read a holy scripture. Along the way thoughts of comparison and how lowly his friend was dominated his mind.

The first one, as he moved with the prostitute began to have resentment on what he was doing. His mind was engrossed in how great his friend was, who decided to visit the temple and read a spiritual book. He was greatly started t miss that.

The other with the religious book in his hand and siting in the temple, was engrossed in the thought of his lowly friend.

An earthquake struck claiming many lives, both the friends included.

The officers from heaven and hell were busy with their work. The first one was taken by the officers of heaven, and could see at distance his friend being ruthlessly driven by the officers from hell.

'There must be some mistake', he said, 'According to what we were doing I deserve to be there and that friend of mine deserves to be graciously led by you to the heaven.'

'We are following the orders, and there is no mistake,' the officer from the heaven said.

The first one demanded and explanation for what had happened in the heaven. 'Your mind was engrossed in how your great your friend was, and was on the temple and sacred text, while your friend's mind was dwelling in how lowly the other was filled with deep resentment.' came the answer.

'Thinking of others as low and self higher is the door to hell.' the voice continued

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Heart Warmer.....

Bobby was getting cold sitting out in his back yard in the snow. Bobby didn't wear boots; he didn't like them and anyway he didn't own any. The thin sneakers he wore had a few holes in them and they did a poor job of keeping out the cold.

Bobby had been in his backyard for about an hour already. Try as he might, he could not come up with an idea for his mother's Christmas gift. He shook his head as he thought, "This is useless, even if I do come up with an idea, I don't have any money to spend."

Ever since his father had passed away three years ago, the family of five had struggled. It wasn't because his mother didn't care, or try, there just never seemed to be enough. She worked nights at the hospital, but the small wage that she was earning could only be stretched so far.

What the family lacked in money and material things, they more than made up for in love and family unity. Bobby had two older and one younger sister, who ran the household in their mother's absence. All three of his sisters had already made beautiful gifts for their mother. Somehow it just wasn't fair. Here it was Christmas Eve already, and he had nothing.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Bobby kicked the snow and started to walk down to the street where the shops and stores were. It wasn't easy being six without a father, especially when he needed a man to talk to.

Bobby walked from shop to shop, looking into each decorated window. Everything seemed so beautiful and so out of reach. It was starting to get dark and Bobby reluctantly turned to walk home when suddenly his eyes caught the glimmer of the setting sun's rays reflecting off of something along the curb. He reached down and discovered a shiny dime.

Never before has anyone felt as wealthy as Bobby felt at that moment. As he held his new found treasure, warmth spread throughout his entire body and he walked into the first store he saw. His excitement quickly turned cold when salesperson after salesperson told him that he could not buy anything with only a dime.

He saw a flower shop and went inside to wait in line. When the shop owner asked if he could help him, Bobby presented the dime and asked if he could buy one flower for his mother's Christmas gift. The shop owner looked at Bobby and his ten cent offering. Then he put his hand on Bobby's shoulder and said to him, "You just wait here and I'll see what I can do for you."

As Bobby waited, he looked at the beautiful flowers and even though he was a boy, he could see why mothers and girls liked flowers.

The sound of the door closing as the last customer left, it jolted Bobby back to reality. All alone in the shop, Bobby began to feel alone and afraid.

Suddenly the shop owner came out and moved to the counter. There, before Bobby's eyes, lay twelve long stem, red roses, with leaves of green and tiny white flowers all tied together with a big silver bow. Bobby's heart sank as the owner picked them up and placed them gently into a long white box.

"That will be ten cents young man." the shop owner said reaching out his hand for the dime. Slowly, Bobby moved his hand to give the man his dime. Could this be true? No one else would give him a thing for his dime! Sensing the boy's reluctance, the shop owner added, "I just happened to have some roses on sale for ten cents a dozen. Would you like them?"

This time Bobby did not hesitate, and when the man placed the long box into his hands, he knew it was true. Walking out the door that the owner was holding for Bobby, he heard the shop keeper say, "Merry Christmas, son."

As he returned inside, the shop keeper’s wife walked out. "Who were you talking to back there and where are the roses you were fixing?"

Staring out the window, and blinking the tears from his own eyes, he replied, "A strange thing happened to me this morning. While I was setting up things to open the shop, I thought I heard a voice telling me to set aside a dozen of my best roses for a special gift. I wasn't sure at the time whether I had lost my mind or what, but I set them aside anyway. Then just a few minutes ago, a little boy came into the shop and wanted to buy a flower for his mother with one small dime.

When I looked at him, I saw myself, many years ago. I too was a poor boy with nothing to buy my mother a Christmas gift. A bearded man, whom I never knew, stopped me on the street and told me that he wanted to give me ten dollars.

When I saw that little boy tonight, I knew who that voice was, and I put together a dozen of my very best roses."

The shop owner and his wife hugged each other tightly, and as they stepped out into the bitter cold air, they somehow didn't feel cold at all but their heart warmer.



Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Going with the Flow...

A Taoist story tells of an old man who accidentally fell into the river rapids leading to a high and dangerous waterfall. Onlookers feared for his life. Miraculously, he came out alive and unharmed downstream at the bottom of the falls. People asked him how he managed to survive. "I accommodated myself to the water, not the water to me. Without thinking, I allowed myself to be shaped by it. Plunging into the swirl, I came out with the swirl. This is how I survived."

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Being Useless..............

Lao Tzu was traveling with his disciples and they came to a forest where hundreds of woodcutters were cutting the trees. The whole forest had been cut except for one big tree with thousands of branches. It was so big that 10,000 persons could sit in its shade. Lao Tzu asked his disciples to go and inquire why this tree had not been cut. They went and asked the woodcutter and they said, “This tree is absolutely useless. You cannot make anything out of it because every branch has so many knots in it—nothing is straight. You cannot use it as fuel because the smoke is dangerous to the eyes. This tree is absolutely useless; that’s why we haven’t cut it.” The disciples came back and told Lao Tzu. He laughed, “Be like this tree. If you are useful you will be cut and you will become furniture in somebody’s house. If you are beautiful you will be sold in the market, you will become a commodity. Be like this tree, absolutely useless, and then you will grow big and vast and thousands of people will find shade under you.

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I Am Nothing.....

In the days of the small kingdoms there was an occasion for celebration.

The king and the ministers andall the important people were supposed to get together. So all the people there had been shown their places accordingto the hierarchy.

There was a throne for the king. The chief minister was waiting for the king to arrive, and the ceremony to begin. Suddenly, in walks a Sufi mystic dressed in ragged clothes. He walks straight to the throne and sits down, to the horror of the chief minister.



The minister says, ’What do you think you are doing?’

The Sufi says, ‘I am just sitting here.’

So the minister says, ‘You aren’t even the chief minister” because I am the chief minister.’

So the Sufi said, ‘I am more than the chief minister.'

The minister asked, ‘Are you the king?’

The Sufi replied, ‘No, I’m not the king. I’m more than that.’

The minister asked, ‘Are you the emperor?’

The Sufi said, ‘I’mnot the emperor. I’m more than that. ’

So the minister said,‘Are you the prophet?”

"No, I’m not the prophet. I’m more than that.’



Finally, exasperated, the chief minister said,

‘Are you God?’

The Sufi replied, ‘No, I’m not God. I’m morethan that.’

The minister, horrified, said, ‘But more than God means there is nothing!’



The Sufi said, ’You are right. I am That nothing.’”

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Worse than a Clown

Worse than a Clown

There was a young monk in China who was a very serious practitioner of the Dharma. Once, this monk came across something he did not understand, so he went to ask the master. When the master heard the question, he kept laughing.

The master then stood up and walked away, still laughing. The young monk was very disturbed by the master's reaction. For the next 3 days, he could not eat, sleep nor think properly. At the end of 3 days, he went back to the master and told the master how disturbed he had felt.

When the master heard this, he said, "Monk, do u know what your problem is? Your problem is that YOU ARE WORSE THAN A CLOWN!" The monk was shocked to hear that, "Venerable Sir, how can you say such a thing?! How can I be worse than a clown?"

The master explained, "A clown enjoys seeing people laugh. You? You feel disturbed because another person laughed. Tell me, are u not worse than a clown?" When the monk heard this, he began to laugh. He was enlightened ..........

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Patience.......

Patience Pays

Be patient (in adversity);
for, verily, God will not
let the reward of the
righteous be wasted.

Quran, 11.115

*

Have patience with all
things, but chiefly have pa-
tience with yourself. Do not
lose courage in considering
your own imperfections,
but instantly set about
remedying them every
day begins the task anew.

Saint Francis De Sales

*

We cannot learn real pa-
tience and tolerance from
a guru or a friend. They
can be practised only
when we come in contact
with someone who creates
unpleasant experiences.

The Dalai Lama XIV

*

With time and patience
the mulberry leaf
becomes a silk gown.

Chinese Proverb

*

Learn the art of patience.
Apply discipline to your
thoughts when they
become anxious over the
outcome of a goal. Impa-
tience breeds anxiety, fear,
discouragement and fail-
ure. Patience creates confi-
dence, decisiveness and a
rational outlook, which
eventually leads to success.

Brian Adams




Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Your Mirror...........

The good you find in others, is in you too.
The faults you find in others, are your faults as well.
After all, to recognize something you must know it.

The possibilities you see in others, are possible for you as well. The beauty you see around you, is your beauty. The world around you is a reflection, a mirror showing you the person you are.

To change your world, you must change yourself. To blame and complain will only make matters worse. Whatever you care about, is your responsibility. What you see in others, shows you yourself.

See the best in others, and you will be your best. Give to others, and you give to yourself. Appreciate beauty, and you will be beautiful. Admire creativity, and you will be creative.

Love, and you will be loved. Seek to understand, and you will be understood. Listen, and your voice will be heard. Teach, and you will learn.

enc
Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You

Help Who Seeks Your Shelter

Once there was a discussion going on in Indra's (head of heavenly angels) court. One of the demi-gods said that there are brave and merciful kings on Earth who would not hesitate laying down their own lives to protect those who come to them for a shelter. Another demi-god doubted his statement. The two began to argue and so Indra intervened by asking them to go to the Earth and see for themselves. The two demi-gods made a plan of action. One of them decided to take the form of a pigeon, and the other took the form of a hawk.

On the Earth, King Meghrath was sitting in his court surrounded by his courtiers. At that time a pigeon flew in through an open window and started circling inside the hall. To the king's surprise, it landed on his lap. The king realized that the pigeon had come there out of fear.

At that very instant, a hawk flew into the king’s court too. He said to the king, "This pigeon is my prey." The king was struck with a wonder to hear a bird speak. However, he replied, "It is true that this pigeon is your prey, but I can give you some other food."

He ordered his servants to bring a basket of sweets. But the hawk said, "I am not a human being. I am not vegetarian. I need the flesh for my food."

The king said, "Let me give you my own flesh instead of this pigeon’s flesh." Upon hearing this, one of the courtiers said, "Your Majesty, why should you give your own flesh? Let’s get the flesh from a butcher's shop."

The king replied, "No, because just as a confectioner's business thrives when we consume sweets, a butcher's trade flourishes when we use up meat. The butcher may have to kill another animal in order to supply us the meat. This pigeon has sought refuge and it is my duty to protect it. At the same time, it is my duty to see that no one else is harmed in this process. Therefore, I will give my own flesh to the hawk."

With these words, he took out his dagger and cut off a piece of flesh from his thigh and offered that to the hawk. The whole court was stunned. But the hawk said to the king, "Oh, king! I want the same amount of flesh as the pigeon."

So, a weighing scale was brought to the court. The king put the pigeon on one side and a piece of his own flesh on the other. The king kept putting more and more of his flesh on the scale, but was still not enough. Finally the king was getting ready to put his whole body on the scale. The court filled with the murmur that the king was giving his own life for an insignificant bird. But the king considered it his duty and religion to be above everything else. He sat on the side opposite to the pigeon in the scale, closed his eyes, and began meditating in the peace.

As soon as the king entered into the meditation, the pigeon and the hawk assumed their original divine form. Both demi-gods bowed to the king and said, "Oh great king! you are blessed. We are convinced that you are a brave and merciful man."

With these words, they praised and saluted the king again and left. The whole court resounded with the joyous words, "Long live the King Meghrath."

Later on, the soul of King Meghrath became the sixteenth Tirthankar, Shäntinäth.

A merciful person is someone who is not only influenced by seeing the misery and suffering of others, but goes a step further and attempts to alleviate the pain. He gives financial aid to those who are poverty-stricken and gives food to those who are hungry and needy. A merciful person would not harm others to promote himself but on the contrary, would sacrifice even his own life to save the lives of the others.


Lovely Thoughts for Lovely People Just Like You